Saturday 11 May 2013

The 'Don't Bother' Bin - Sleeping Beauty smut

What can I say? There's a lot of football on the telly in our house, and I don't always want to get engrossed in something big and brilliant when my brain feels mushy. That's when I turn to smut. I don't know why - I don't think I've read much that I've enjoyed, as these 'erotic' takes on the Sleeping Beauty myth show...

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty - A.N. Roquelaure

1 star

Don't let the name confuse you - this is Anne Rice. I'm an Anne Rice fan, although she can piss me off at times (cough, cough Angel Time). It seems though there's something that can annoy me quicker than her banging on about God, and that's her banging on about paddling instead.

This is well written (and is infinitely better than 50 Shades of Shit Grey) but deeply irritating (especially all those quivering buttocks), though I think that's probably less Anne's fault than it is mine. It seems that BDSM just ain't my flavour and I can't find rape, humiliation and degradation a turn-on, as I spend most of my reading time desperately wishing that one of the 'love' slaves would rise up and punch their master in the neck. I can hereby promise that the first person to try slapping my tits will quickly find themselves short a few teeth.



Ravish: The Awakening of Sleeping Beauty - Cathy Yardley

1 star


In another 'erotic' retelling of Sleeping Beauty, this time Rory is a young woman on holiday on a Carribean island, about to lose her virginity, when she falls into a coma. 

Jacob White is the brilliant neurosurgeon (or something) brought in by her wealthy family six years into said coma. Jacob soon starts having sexy dreams about his comatose patient, and....oh whatever. The story doesn't really matter, and is merely a ridiculous and silly setting in which our 'characters' have lots and lots of sex.




I keep coming back to these smutty reads hoping for something different each time, but it seems that instead of having sex as the point, I prefer it as part of a believable story (by which I don't mean it has to take place on a council estate or anything, after all I inhale fantasy and paranormal stuff like it's going out of fashion). 

Oh well, it seems I'm destined to be forever disappointed in this genre.

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