Prince Lestat, by Anne Rice

4 stars

It’s been some time since we last saw Lestat, acting strangely unlike himself in Blood Canticle (as if Lestat would ever say cool or dude. Although she wouldn’t say that either, I’m laying the blame for this solely at the door of the infinitely dislikeable Rowan Mayfair, who also unfortunately starred in that outing). It pleases me to say that not only is Lestat back, but this time it really is the Lestat we know and love, in all his lion-maned, arrogant and lace bedecked glory. And Rowan’s not even mentioned.

Catching up with not just my beloved but a host of other vampires besides, Prince Lestat finds the vampire world in an uproar – a mysterious voice is goading vampires into destroying one another and the Sacred Core, which animates all vampires and currently resides in the brain of the ancient and mute Mekare, is under threat. The vampires need a leader to take control – now who might that leader be, I wonder?

After the last few books in the Vampire Chronicles and the lacklustre second outing in the Wolf Gift Chronicles, I must admit I was a little nervous about this one, which is probably why I put off reading it for so long. Happily, I needn’t have worried. Aside from enjoying Lestat as much as I ever have, I also enjoyed the fleshing out of the pasts of some of the unnamed vampires from previous entries which brought to the fore Anne’s skill at embedding a sense of history in her characters – even if I couldn’t help but snigger every time one of them waxed poetic about how wonderfully complex and profound they found the previous Vampire Chronicles (which exist in this world as they were all ‘written’ by our vampires) and if the central mysteries (who is The Voice, and who started the Talamasca) were easily solved, I still found them satisfying.

The only minus for me was the story of Rose and Viktor, which didn’t really add anything new (she’s such a beautiful, delicate, battered flower and he’s….well, he’s really pretty too) other than giving Anne an option for a new series starring Lestat v2. Not that I wouldn’t read the shit out of that too, but for now they simply felt superfluous.

If you’re new to the world of the Vampire Chronicles, I really wouldn’t recommend starting here (although handy previouslies are provided throughout the text, you’d still be missing out on a lot of the backstories to these characters, as well as the two best books in the series) but if you’re a long-time fan, you’ll eat Lestat’s story up with a spoon.

Danse Macabre, by Stephen King

2 stars

There’s something terribly wrong with me – it has just taken me three weeks to finish a Stephen King book. A Stephen King book in which he riffs on one of my favourite genres, no less, giving us his take on the books, films, television and radio shows that populate the world of horror – or the world of horror until the early eighties, at least (when Danse Macabre was written). 

Taking a look at common horror tropes and why we find them so deliciously scary, I would have thought that Stephen King would be the perfect person to walk me through this topic. In this I was sadly disappointed.

Part of my problem was entirely my own – December is always a distracted and stressful month for me as I frantically try to reach a thousand deadlines while simultaneously struggling to fit in bouts of panic-buying with the few social obligations I have remaining now that I’m mostly a curmudgeonly hermit, leaving me a scanty few minutes in which to squeeze a bit of reading. King’s chatty, informal style didn’t help me here as the riffs and tangents he’s always been prone to embarking upon led to a rather loose and woolly whole that I struggled to get a firm grip on.

The early eighties cut-off also worked against the book for me, particularly when it came to film. Whilst name-checking a few truly great horror films, King’s taste in horror movie tends to skew heavily towards the schlocky, obviously a bloke-in-a-monster-suit, B (and C and D) movie which he grew up with but that I’ve always struggled to take seriously (I realise this is a bit rich coming from a woman whose own taste skews heavily towards that starring Bruce Campbell, but hey ho) and I couldn’t help but spend most of that time wondering what he’d make of the movies made since – and particularly the influencing of Hollywood by the truly spine-tingling terror of Japanese horror films (like the utterly brilliant and terrifying Audition, which I once made my Boxing Day guests sit through, much to their cushion-grabbing dismay), although I did also clock his disapproval of Kubrick’s version of The Shining (which may not be as true to the book as King’s own highly unnecessary TV adaptation, but is easily several thousand times better) and so it’s highly possible that he wouldn’t think much of it at all.

At its best when considering why we read/watch horror (for me, it’s the only genre that really gives my imagination a proper work out in a reality that’s rather mundane and routine where I often have to act counter to my instincts, and it gives my brain the same jolt of life that my body gets while hurtling towards the ground on a roller-coaster) but I think that the very thing King professes inside to wanting to avoid - the pinning down and dissecting of what makes it work – was probably the very thing I was after with Danse Macabre, and missed getting.

Dead Witch Walking, by Kim Harrison

1 star

I think I must have been well and truly spoiled by the Jim Butchers and Kelley Armstrongs of the paranormal genre, as Dead Witch Walking is the latest in a long line of paranormal series I've attempted only to find myself rolling my eyes and tutting loudly nearly every time I turned a page.

In a world post-Turn, where the human population found itself hugely diminished thanks to and still quivering with terror at...um...tomatoes, they've now found themselves living side-by-side with a wealth of supernatural races collectively known as Inderlanders. The wildly irritating Rachel Morgan is a witch and runner for Inderland Security, which polices the supernatural community and tags its ne'er-do-wells. Except she's no longer wanted in the I.S. and, backed by her vampire colleague Ivy and tiny pixy partner Jenks, finds herself on the run from their many assassins (standard I.S. termination policy). Trying to buy herself out of her death, Rachel plans to take down and hand over local big-bad Trent Karramack, but as we'll soon find out Rachel's plans have a habit of being completely crap and falling apart quicker than something that falls apart really quickly.

Constantly overestimated by everybody despite the fact that all of her 'plans' end with her getting captured and having to be rescued by others, Rachel is also constantly jumping to incorrect assumptions as well as having some serious trust issues - as in she refuses to trust anybody who proves they can be trusted, preferring instead to trust people she has just met (but only as long as they act reallllllly suspiciously). In case you can't tell, Rachel made my shit itch as badly as if Jenks had pixed me. 

As Dead Witch Walking preferred to focus more on its characters and their relationships than driving forward the story, the fact that I hated pretty much everyone bar Jenks and his family meant that my only real enjoyment came in rooting enthusiastically for Rachel's death. I'll be pretending that that's what happened come the end instead of reading any more of her adventures.

Dhampir, by Barb and JC Hendee

3 stars

Apparently Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Lord of the Rings, everyone who knows me will realise that this is the exact kind of sentence designed to make me buy things. 

But, aside from the elf and the vampire slaying, I'd say this is more reminiscent of Terry Gilliam's Brothers Grimm, with two grifters finding themselves trapped by the reputations built by their cons into battling the undead for real.

From the very first it's clear that Magiere, with blood-red highlights in her hair, isn't quite like everyone else. Shunned as a child due to suspicious parentage, she's since hardened herself to society and now makes her way from superstitious village to superstitious village, fleecing the inhabitants with the help of her half-elf partner, Leesil. Until one night when she's set upon by a creature not unlike those she's been supposedly killing, and she decides to jack it all in and start over as a tavern landlady. But the vampires living in the town she's chosen to settle in have other ideas, and so Magiere and Leesil (and his magic dog, Chap) must become what they've previously claimed to be.

Whilst I enjoyed this one - it had some decent action and characters, and I particularly enjoyed the bad guys and their group dynamic (in particular, the triangle between Rashed, Teesha and her dearly departed hubby who she's been slowly falling out of love with) - there were also a few niggles; Magiere's powers didn't really make much sense to me until they were fully explained near the end by the exposition fairy Welstiel, while the idea that someone tooling around with a half-elf would scoff at the existence of vampires struck me as a bit snort-worthy.

Not a bad read at all - in fact this was a nice, easy diversion for a few days, but it won't see me beating down the door of the bookstore for more.

Mr Darcy, Vampire by Amanda Grange

1 star

This was gifted to me a few years ago in the midst of the shoving the supernatural into classics phase and I can see why it was chosen - I love Pride and Prejudice and I love vampires. However, the twenty thousand games that took place yesterday in the Whatever Cup enabled me to find out that the two really don't mix well.

If you're coming to this book hoping for a bit of throat-ripping to go with your socialising, or even a bit of bodice-ripping, you're going to be disappointed. Instead you'll get 200+ pages of Lizzy being dragged around Europe on her honeymoon, wondering if Darcy still loves her as he fails to consummate the marriage and looks tormented, before a quick flash of fang at the end when Lizzy realises he's a vampire and turns him human again through the power of - you guessed it - true love.

It probably doesn't help that a book with Vampire in the title only got bite-y for a wee bit in the last quarter, but it definitely doesn't help that Grange chose as her basis a book and a heroine that both sparkle with wit, when hers really doesn't. 

Still, it did distract from the fact that there's still football on my telly, so there's always that.

Cold Days, by Jim Butcher

3.5 stars

No longer mostly dead thanks to the combined efforts of Mab and Demonreach, Harry's back in the material world in time to save it, again.

Now Mab's Winter Knight thanks to the deal he made back in Changes, his first mission is an ugly one - going after Mab's own daughter. But Maeve's a slippery customer, and may have some compelling reasons up her sleeve (I guess that would be her Wizard's Sleeve, as she spends the book mostly naked)  for Harry to take out Mab instead.

To make things even simpler, he has an awesomely deadly new assistant for his mission (the Cat Sith) who isn't best pleased to be serving him, and most of the Winter Court is out for his blood. Oh, and Demonreach is about to blow, which doesn't bode well for the world considering that the island's purpose is to serve as a demonic Oz - a maximum security prison for the most nightmarish beasties to have ever been unleashed on the world.

Bursting to the seams with action, sometimes I felt there was a little too much this time around, with wave after wave of assault sometimes disorienting me and making me forget just who was after Harry now and why it was important.

I was also a little nonplussed by his friends reactions to his reappearance in their lives. Considering how fucked up we found them all in Ghost Story, and the hoops they made him jump through to prove his really was Harry, I was expecting a bigger reaction than the collective shrug that came from everyone bar Thomas and Mouse.

And finally in my list of niggles, whilst I'm aware that Harry has always been a bit of a dick when it comes to women, I am really not keen on the new, rapey Harry that's been wrought by the mantle of Winter, nor the reactions of the ladies he'd quite like to rape (or the fact that women everywhere are constantly either oozing sex or defined by the lack of sex they ooze). Harry is, in fact, getting dangerously close to me wanting everyone to punch him in the throat.  With the set-up for the next book that came at the book's climax, it's a situation that will probably only get worse as he works out the dynamics of his relationship with the new Winter Lady.

Still, I do love the fantastic flourishes we get whenever dealing with the fae, and with Toot still around and managing to not want to rape everyone he meets, there's still someone at least for me to wholeheartedly throw my support behind. 

But Harry - consider yourself warned...

Side Jobs, by Jim Butcher

3 stars

I've just realised that I've spent a month and a half reading nothing but Dresden. I'm turning into a bookier version of Superhans...

A few short side jobs from the case files of Harry Dresden, taking place from before Storm Front all the way up until after Changes (which you should definitely read first, as Aftermath deals with the, um, aftermath of a pretty huge plot development from that book), this was a fun diversion but didn’t make me feel anything near the brain-shrieking levels of glee that the series has been delivering lately.

My favourites were easily It’s My Birthday Too (as Harry attempts to give Thomas a birthday present, interrupts a game of vampire LARP and has to hit some bad guys with those gravity anvils that I love so much) and Backup (in which Thomas runs around trying to help Harry without him realising, and lets us in on the Oblivion War) although I swear I’m not a Thomas fangirl (my heart belongs to Toot). Our opener, A Restoration of Faith, was also notable in that it showed the germ of what would later come while also demonstrating just how much Butcher has improved over the years.

Not as much of a must-read as the series itself, but a pleasant way to spend a few days if jonesing for a quick fix of Harry. And on that note, it's probably time for a self-imposed intervention before I turn into Gollum.

Changes, by Jim Butcher

5 stars

Holy shit. Those stakes? Just got well and truly raised.

When Harry's ex-lover Susan Rodriguez calls, his world changes overnight. Finding himself in a truly desperate situation, he's forced to make hard choice after hard choice after hard choice...and still the best outcome he can hope for is bleak. I can't say any more than that without dropping a ton of spoilers but trust me, it's a doozy.

While not exactly the most fun entry in the series to date, this probably made it all the more effective for me and besides, just because Harry was having the worst time of his life it didn't mean there weren't moments that nearly made my head explode with glee. Including that cliffhanger, although that also had a dash of...

(and this, even though I'd known something like that might be coming thanks to a couple of hints in Bombshells)

I keep telling myself I'll read something else for a little while. But like any addict, I also keep telling myself, 'just one more...'

Turn Coat, by Jim Butcher

4 stars

I’m continuing my tear through the Dresden Files, and the latest to be devoured was Turn Coat.

As far as Wardens go, Morgan has always been something of a dick. But one capable of murdering a Senior Council member? Harry doesn’t think so, and uncovering the real killer could also help to expose the existence of what Harry’s been calling the Black Council. Trouble is, as far as the people after Morgan go, the Council is the least scary…

While this entry was missing the holy swords and Merlin hints that really tickle my excitement buds, this entry still builds brilliantly upon and hints at a bigger mythology to be discovered (Demonreach!! And Ebenezar’s journal entries. Oh, the possibilities…) as well as starring a particularly dashing appearance by my favourite, Toot.

Ending on something of a bittersweet note, I don’t think I can stop here. While marvelling at the fact that this is the 11th book in the series and that I’m more addicted than ever, I need to get my ass over to the Kindle store and download Changes!

Small Favor, by Jim Butcher

5 stars

I don't seem able to stop reading Harry Dresden lately. Partly because I've managed to accidentally spoil a few upcoming events for myself and want to get up to date so that I'm back in the dark again, but mostly because I'm finding each book more exciting than the last and can't wait to read on.

Small Favor is no exception, as Mab taps Harry for one of the favours he owes her and sends him on the trail of Marcone, recently disappeared by the Denarians (whose last appearance meant all kinds of Hell for Harry). She'd quite like him to be her Winter Knight too, but for now that's an offer that Harry can refuse (although it's sure to soon bite him in the ass). As his luck would have it, as well as going up against some of the worst foes he's encountered yet, Summer wants a piece of him too (though he's not sure why) and have awesomely sent some Gruffs to deal with him. As well as loving the bad-ass Billy-Goats, I get a little shiver of excitement every time we start touching on Harry playing Merlin (not The Merlin, but the Merlin) and so, for me, this instalment was extra shivery. Other things tickling my glee spot this time around were:

• Bob proving to be a book-yeller, just like me.
• Toot. Any time Toot is involved I go to my happy place, but particularly when he's pulling a Full Metal Jacket and letting slip about 'Za-Lord's Guard.
• Murphy's McAnally's showdown. I think I may have a wee girl-crush on Murph, who doesn't need to accept a sword to kick ass.
• Goodness gracious, great fists of Soulfire.
• Wagner, baby.

Most series start well and go downhill from there but that isn't the case with Harry Dresden. I'm trying really, really hard not to immediately go and splurge on the next book, but can already feel my willpower wavering...

White Night, by Jim Butcher

4 stars

Seeing as the last entry was so much fun I decided to hang waiting a while and jump straight in to the next instalment of Harry and his amazing friends.

Another fun, light entry that still manages to raise quite a few stakes, this time around someone is killing low-level magic practitioners in Chicago. Worse still, it's looking as though that person might be Thomas.

With Harry's being a Warden meaning people are now more afraid of him than want his help, and with him relying on Lash (who now even has her own nickname) more and more than he'd ever have allowed before, he barely seems to have noticed the small changes that have taken place in his personality. Others have though...

With only one small misfire (the New Mexico thing, which I initially thought must have meant there was side story that I'd missed that contained all the important information, but which turned out to be waiting for a flashback halfway through the book) the twists and turns are as enjoyable as ever, and I love how Butcher manages to work in other characters that we've met along the way, as in the bullet-flinging alliance with Gentleman Johnny.

I enjoyed it so much, in fact, that I'm more tempted than ever to give up reading anything else for the moment in favour of ploughing through the remaining Harry's instead.

Proven Guilty, by Jim Butcher

4 stars

So, it turns out I only needed to have read one more in the series to meet the protege I was spoiled for in Dangerous Women.  

With the White Council's numbers somewhat thinned thanks to the war with the Red Court, Harry has become a Warden and been tasked to ferret out the casters of the black magic that's been taking place in Chicago. Meanwhile, Michael's teenage daughter, Molly, has found herself mixed up in a situation where movie monsters are manifesting and messing up everyone around them - something that might not be entirely unconnected to the aforementioned black magic.

I'm really enjoying how this world continues to grow and found this instalment to be a particularly fun one that didn't stress me out anywhere near as much as some of the previous entries. That fun was tested for a particular moment in the book...

...but thankfully it's starting to seem that there's way more to some of Harry's companions than meets the eye.

When it comes to his love life, I have to admit that I'm way more invested in whether I'm right in looking forward to Murphy getting the spare holy sword than whether she'll end up snogging Harry, but that's a minor quibble in a series that I'm still eating up with a spoon and wanting more of.

Black Dagger Brotherhood, by JR Ward

Odds are that if you’re into vampires, you’re already read this series. But just in case you haven't, let's take a moment to talk about the Black Dagger Brotherhood.

 One of the first paranormal ‘romances’ I’d come across, I read it (well, 5 of them, anyway. There are 11 of them to date) a few years ago. You probably ought to know that when I say romance here, what I really mean is it's really this kind of book:

I was pleasantly surprised with the first few instalments and tore through one a month, but found my ardour rapidly cooling and all of the little things that had bugged me from the first soon became insurmountable obstacles to my enjoyment – the ridiculous names, the meek ladies and dodgy sexual politics, and the deadly boring Lessers who’d take up half a book plotting to be rid of the Brotherhood, but who only really existed to injury a lady so the lads could act ragey and swoop in to the rescue.

Starting well with Wrath and reaching a high (for me) with the third instalment – that of the damaged Zsadist – below are my thoughts from my BDB journey…

Dark Lover - 3 stars

(read June 10)

I came to this book with very high expectations after seeing how many people were in love with this series, squeeing all over Goodreads, and while I wasn't as head-over-heels crazy about it, it was still entertaining and (ahem) enjoyable enough for me to want to continue.

When the leader of the Brotherhood, Wrath, shows up in the bedroom of Beth one night, she doesn’t instantly start screaming the house down or trying to disable her intruder. Instead they head to Sexytown and Beth is soon whisked out of her life and into that of the Brotherhood, where they all live together in their swanky mansion complete with weird servants, and where the Brothers are all far too interested in and forever pass comment on one another’s love lives.

Less a vampire story and more a story with vampires in it, it's certainly not one I'd be lending to anyone on the basis of it being well-written literature. It was at times cheesy, predictable and overblown, with the romantic bits some of the worst offenders …

...and I also had trouble not rolling my eyes at the names and mythology, but let's face it - it's about hot people having sex and on that front it delivers, and often. 
With the Brotherhood set up as it is with different personality types, looks, etc I can certainly see this series growing on me as I read on, at least until I get to Zsadist (who's by far and away the most attractive at this stage, which probably says something worrying about me).

Recommended for anyone who sat through Twilight wishing someone would just ram someone against the wall and...

Lover Eternal - 2.5 stars

(read July 10)

We're back for another round of vampire-porn (sorry, romance!), this time with a little more angst as we're taking on the 'gorgeous' womaniser Rhage and his lady love, Mary.

After Rhage falls instantly in love with Mary (as you do...in books) he struggles with controlling his beast around her (the dragon inside him, that is, not the pants-beast that is forever straining to get out), while battling her reluctance to open up to him as she struggles with leukaemia. While it was never in doubt that they'd get their happy-ever-after, it was quite enjoyable getting there (Mary's initial reluctance went over a lot easier with me than Beth's eager panting from the very start), although I must admit that after the few tantalising snippets of Zsadist and Bella I found myself way more interested in them than in our current leads.

So, while the subservient female vampires and the rubbish that is spouted by the Brothers about 'females' is really starting to rub me up the wrong way, it won’t stop me from at least reading the next instalment.

Lover Awakened - 3.5 stars

(read August 10)

By far and away the best in the series so far as Ward takes on my favourite brother, Zsadist. Considering the awful things that have occurred to him in his past it seems slightly off saying that he's hotness itself, but so it goes.

Far less cloying than the preceding two thanks to Zsadist's horrific backstory, his relationship with Bella is far less instantly lovey-dovey than we've encountered before and with his own journey being just as important as the romance it felt like this instalment had a lot more depth. With a very un-BDB like tragedy also occurring, this book also seems to promise that there will be a little more meat to the stories that follow, which can only be a good thing.

There are still several elements of the series which annoy - I really couldn't give a toss about the Lessers, the gender politics still rankle, and it also seems blindlingly obvious to me who John Matthew is, so I hope that story strand isn't going to be built up into a long-drawn out, unmystifying mystery. Worst of all is the language that Ward has come up with - sticking random h's in words doesn't seem like you have a fully realised world with its own language, it's nahff and ahnnoying and just loohks as though the wohrds are spehlt wrong.

See?

That said, I couldn't put this book down and each time I had to (why is it that people always seem to want to bloody talk to you just as you've got to a really good bit?) I couldn't wait to pick it up again.

Lover Revealed - 1.5 stars

(read Sept 10)

Meh...another instalment of erotic nonsense, this time in which Butch gets his happy ending (and another, and another, fnar fnar) only this time I'm finding it harder and harder going (this time, no pun intended) - slightly surprising as I'd have ranked Butch as my next in line after Zsadist.

In this issue (dear me, I'm seeing puns everywhere now) Butch gets super special soldier status as he joins the Brotherhood, only with an added bit of Omega in him. Thus his ridiculous new name, Dhestroyer. Obviously, he also ghets to screhw Marissa even though clearly he should have ended up with Vishous.

Although this time around Ward actually tried a bit harder and put in an extra bit of plot, my interest really started to wane and in between feeling like the book was starting to drag I found I was encountering more and more 'Oh for fuck's sake' moments (not that there weren't tons before, but this time mine were far more violent reactions).

I believe I may well be done, but like all nasty little addictions a little voice in my head keeps piping up 'maybe just after we read about Vishous, then that's it, I swear...'

P.S. Is it just me or would it be a bloody nightmare living with that vampire Brady Bunch? Everyone's either stomping about like the world's ending because their lover has misunderstood their intentions, getting violently possessive with their friends, or dry humping their lover at the kitchen table. I'm getting more and more annoyed the more I think about it.

Lover Unbound - 1 star

(read Oct 10)

Oh, give over...

I've officially had enough with this series. After being disappointed with the last book, I didn't think I'd encounter anything that could top the lameness of Butch's conversion to super special Omega-infused Brother, but then I hadn't banked on Ward being willing to well and truly take the biscuit in this one.

And it had all been going so well...I'd initially enjoyed this one much more, what with a slightly spunkier than usual love interest, an un-vanilla sex life and an apparent willingness to throw something painful into the story when the Lessers make their only appearance. If we'd ended before the happy-ever-after, the series might have just started looking up. But then Ward goes and lets Vishous have Jane after all, as a ghost.

At this point, go back and replace my entire review with this:

So there you have it. A fun novelty at first, but soon far too much for anyone who fears that bad books will rot their brain.

Bloodthirsty, by Flynn Meaney

4.5 stars

Fifteen-year-old Finbar Frame is not very like his twin brother, Luke. Where Luke is a popular, handsome school sports star who frequently finds girls flinging themselves at him, Finbar is skinny, deadly pale and allergic to the sun, and the only women he gets to spend any real time with are librarians and his mum.

Noticing how girls tend to go a little nutty over vampires, on starting at a new school Finbar comes up with a plan in which his previously 'unattractive' attributes will work for him. He'll become a vampire. 

I picked this up completely randomly without having read so much as the back blurb, and am so glad that I did. Having no real idea of what I was in for, it was therefore a brilliant and delighting surprise to find a central premise that was so refreshingly different in a genre that's become clogged with tortured souls and heaving busoms. Having read more than a few of the series that Finbar takes inspiration from, I found his attempts to remodel himself endlessly amusing (especially thanks to his slightly snarky narration) and endearing at the same time.

Having previously never heard of the writer, I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for more of Meaney's work in the future.

Dead Ever After, by Charlaine Harris

1 star

There used to be a time that I couldn’t get enough of the Sookie Stackhouse series. Actioned-packed, a wee bit sexy, and peopled with a crowd of enjoyable characters, it was brain candy of the highest order and each publication day would find me like this:

But it couldn’t last. Fast forward a few years, and my last few outings with Sookie have each been more forgettable than the last, consisting mostly of filler and the lamification of once fantastic characters. Our last instalment, Deadlocked, marked such a low for the series that I’d even managed to completely forget what it had really been about, and had completely blanked on what had become of Claude and the rest of her family. Shows how fascinating it must have been, right?

As such I didn’t approach this one with nearly as much excitement as I should (I’d have been beating down the door of the bookstore on the day it was published in the old days) but somehow, even with my significantly lowered expectations, this managed to disappoint.

In case you’re worried about spoilers, you should probably look away now…..so don’t say you weren’t warned.

*********************************SPOILERS BELOW**********************************

Our first problem was the underwhelming dismissal of the best character in the entire series. While I’d initially started reading for Sookie, I stayed for Eric. And while Harris has tried ever so hard recently to douchebag him up, to the point that he’s now barely the same badass as before, he’s remained one of the biggest and most interesting characters to reside in Bon Temps. I’d already predicted that this book might see him done away with. And while he might not have been killed off (which could have been great, had it been done well), he instead suffers a fate that’s almost worse as he barely makes an appearance before being booted out of the book with barely a shrug. 

Bye Eric - you deserved better.

With a big hole left by such a character, you might have thought Harris had moved him on so she could fit in all the other exciting things she had in store for Sookie. You’d be right – if your idea of exciting consisted of Sookie doing yard work, cleaning the house and cooking up a storm (including pancakes, bacon and tomato sandwiches, country fried steak and home fries. Sorry, no sweet potato pie this time around) while other people tell her what’s been happening off-page in giant information dumps masquerading as conversations. There is a smidge of action – in a couple of scenes that have Sookie nowhere near them – until she finally gets involved right towards the end, where I was long past caring.

Being the last in the series, we do get a small parade of some of the characters that have been and gone, but they’re not really put to much use - Bill gets to flit around the woods and gloat a bit, while Alcide and Quinn do nothing more than sniff a few things and sod off again. Mostly they’re here to remind us of Sookie’s past loves and to remind us of why they each weren’t quite right, so that we can all get into the right space for her final choice.

Talking of which…I’d have been quite happy if Sookie had decided she wanted to be single. I’d have been quite happy if Sookie had met some other guy who gave her the tinglies, and we could see the beginning of the relationship. Instead, I got Sookie settling for the one guy she’s only ever had nothing but friend feelings for and, as he’s avoiding her for most of the book, has barely any interaction with before he “rolled on the condom and plunged in.” Nice. 

I really wish that Charlaine Harris had stopped writing these when she was no longer having fun, and I could keep some nice memories of a series I’d loved. Now I’m just glad it’s finished. 

Women of the Otherworld

So, you're sick of Sookie sleeping, and Anita Blake rubs you up the wrong way by rubbing up against absolutely everything, so where's a girl to get her paranormal fix? TheShitWizard has two words for you: Kelley Armstrong. 

In case this isn't old news to you, Armstrong has a couple of paranormal series to her name - Women of the Otherworld and its YA sister, Darkest Powers - and they're fantastic brain candy. Women of the Otherworld, in particular, shows how much fun this genre can be when you put your mind to it (and don't use your heroines as your fantasy avatar). 

A series of thirteen books (all published, so there's no waiting if you're instant gratification girl like me), virtually all of them (bar the last couple) have self-contained stories which slowly build a great, believable world (I realise that probably sounds mental when we're talking about supernaturals, but never mind) and feature a wealth of brilliant heroines, none of whom are vapid or wear terrible clothes which are described for pages (hint, hint Harris and Blake!), and who manage to be feisty without making you want to slap them. Their personalities don't consist of being clumsy and lacking in self-esteem, nor are they supermodel types who every man instantly lusts after the moment she walks into a room. They're normal, every day women who dress normally, behave normally and just happen to have some powers - which can cause as many problems as they solve. 

And the men? A nice variety awaits us and, while some of them may fit the alpha male type, they're not controlling freaks who make you think more of abusive relationships than sexy times (I'm looking at you Cullen, the Black Dagger Brotherhood and the douchebag duo from Anita Blake). Like the strong, calm and nurturing type? Armstrong's got you covered. Fancy a sensitive intellectual? Got that too. Or would you rather a doggedly (fnar!) loyal, smoking hot werewolf with a temper as hot as he is? Let me introduce you to Clayton Danvers... 

...Sorry, I'm back. Got lost thinking about Clayton there for a while. Where was I? 

Oh yeah, sex. Naturally, in a series of stories about awesome women and their men, sex does figure but it fits each of the stories well and is only an element of the plot - which actually serves to make it sexier when our peeps finally do get down and dirty (something Laurell K. Hamilton may want to take into consideration). 

There are some minor niggles along the way, there is a slight tendency to go for the happy-ever-after so you're never truly worried for the characters, but they're so small as to be inconsequential in comparison to how much I enjoyed them. 

So, what are you waiting for? Get your teeth into these: 

Bitten - Introducing us to Elena Michaels, the only female werewolf in the world and one of my favourite paranormal heroines ever. The series highlights are always around Elena and her pack, their dynamics and behaviour, and this book does a fantastic job of introducing us to the Otherworld without drowning us in it. I tore through this in a day while waiting for a plane, then rushed straight to the book store on the other side for the follow-up. 

Stolen - The second book starring Elena goes in for a bit of world-building; a group of scientists/rich bods are collecting supernaturals for research into improving the human race (which always goes well) and features witches, sorcerers, shamans, vampires and half-demons, showing the potential for growth in the Otherworld. 

Dime Store Magic - Moving away from Elena and allowing us some time with young witch Paige Winterbourne and her even younger ward, 12 year old Savannah. This gave us a fresh new perspective as well as exposing us to Cabals (think Mob, but with magic and nicer headquarters), who we'll be coming across more and more in the series. 

Industrial Magic - Paige is drawn into a case where the Cabals need her help and although I don't like her half as much as I do Elena, it's still interesting reading things from her point of view, especially as she doesn't live in such a closed environment as the wolf pack and instead interacts with a wide range of supernaturals. 

Haunted - This time our heroine is already dead, but that's not about to stop her from being badass. Introducing us to the Fates and showing us some nice flourishes when it comes to the ghost world, the series starts to show here that it might be a little bigger than just a few, self-contained stories. 

Broken - We're back with the pack, who inadvertently open a portal to Victorian London after stealing the Jack the Ripper 'From Hell' letter, with complications arising from cholera, killer rats, zombies and more... 

No Humans Involved - This time we're in the company of Jaime Vegas, celebrity spiritualist (though a far more likeable one than Derek Acorah) and real necromancer, who is shooting a TV special hoping to raise the ghost of Marilyn Monroe but stumbles across something far more disturbing. 

Personal Demon - One of the weak spots in my opinion, with Hope the half-Expisco demon in the lead. I liked the added moral ambiguity in this one - Hope's power (visions of chaos, and feeding off chaotic energy) means that we're not dealing in black and white - but I found Hope a little too passive a character to really get behind. 

Living With The Dead - The other weak spot in the series, this one shares narration between a few characters, along with a civilian to give us the 'human' view of our supernaturals, and I found it fairly unmemorable. 

Frostbitten - Wolf pack time again (yay!) as they try to track down some man-eating mutts and find themselves in Alaska, which is home to more than just werewolves. 

Waking the Witch - While the witch instalments aren't my favourites, thankfully by the time we get to this one Savannah is all grown up and ready to take on her own book, and we get our first cliffhanger ending...

Spellbound - Following from exactly where we left off in Waking the Witch, and it's becoming more apparent that a supernatural war is brewing. While I squee'd at some of the cameos in this instalment I did also find myself frustrated at ending with another cliffhanger. 

Thirteen - And finally, the last book of a series that had interesting plots and sub-plots that had all been leading us here, with our women banding together to face off the biggest threat the supernatural world has seen yet. Action packed and terribly exciting, I tore through this while knowing I'd be gutted as soon as I'd finished it.

It's probably also worth knowing that several short stories have been published dealing with some of our characters at other times in their lives, so if you didn't get enough from the thirteen above, you should start Googling now.

Sadly it's time for me to bid goodbye to the Otherworld. I'll miss you...