Tuesday, 30 April 2013

The 'Don't Bother' Bin - Hunter's Moon

Hunter's Moon by CT Adams & Cathy Clamp - not even 1 star between them...

So far on this blog I've let you know about some of the books I loved. There are plenty more I've not. Being something of a fiend for supernatural bollocks, I'm a big reader of that genre and have been branching out into paranormal romance occasionally, whenever my brain feels mushy and I need some light relief (not that kind, you dirty sods!) 

Which was how I found myself reading this. Warning - there's most likely spoilers below as I cannot be bothered to be discreet about my problems with this book:

Oh so painful, this is the story of Sue, a multi-millionairess lottery winner, and the assassin, 'Tony', who she hires to kill her. Yep, you just read that right. Only as well as being a killer, Tony's connected. And a werewolf. And although Sue is a pathetic, needy, self-pitying, clingy and spineless excuse for a human being, romance somehow blossoms.

Why does Sue want Tony to kill her? Because her family are assholes - cartoonishly evil manipulators who view Sue as their slave rather than relation. So, of course, suicide is the only way out as opposed to, I don't know, moving. And although Tony's peen soon makes Sue want to to live again, he's got some enemies too, and they will happily target Sue to get to him. Sadly for all of us, they don't succeed.

I'm surprised I managed to finish this considering how much it bugged me. There were some incredibly strange writing choices ("she tasted salty, like grass and woods" - oh yeah, I've always thought the woods were dead salty.) and what little that could pass for plot was more often than not sidelined in favour of exploring the bond between Sue and Tony (which is a complete turn-off, by the way. Who wants a relationship where you pretty much share a brain? I don't care how much we love one another, I want some damn privacy), or different characters telling Sue how much Tony cared for her, or her whining that she can't be left alone. The sort of person who can't make a cup of tea without emotional support, I fervently wished throughout that Tony would take her up on her initial offer and put a bullet in her brain-stem. Not that he was any better.

I won't be returning for the rest of the series, and would be surprised to find that anyone ever has...

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