Saturday, 14 June 2014

Screen Schools

Your school days are apparently supposed to be some of the best of your lives. I can’t quite see that myself, as I wasn’t legally able to buy alcohol and cigarettes then, but if I’d gone to any one of these screen schools instead I might have felt differently.

Harley High (Heartbreak High)

One word: Rivers. 

Liberty High School (My So Called Life)

When I was fifteen I’d have wanted to go to Liberty High because of Jordan Catalano. Now I want to go so that I can give Angela a good shake and tell her to go out with that nice Brian Krakow boy instead, and then hug Ricky.

For iPhone/iPad click here.

Rydell High (Grease)

Whilst I sincerely doubt that I’d have been allowed to join the Pink Ladies, who wouldn’t want to go to a school where everyone wears 50s clothes and is forever bursting into song? (Except for NikNak, that is)

For iPhone/iPad click here.

Lee High (Dazed and Confused)

Aside from driving around listening to great music, I could also tell Wooderson that he really needs to stop hanging out with high school kids before he gets put on some sort of register.

For iPhone/iPad click here.

Sunnydale High (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

OK, so the likelihood is pretty high that if I hadn’t already been one of the random bodies stuffed into the school lockers, I’d have definitely been eaten by the giant Mayor-Snake that ruined Graduation. But at least I’d have never had to go out and work. Also: Great library (just don’t speak Latin in front of the books).

West or East Dillon High (Friday Night Lights)

This may come as a surprise as I am virtually allergic to all forms of sport, but everyone needs a Coach & Mrs Taylor in their life. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

McKinley High (Freaks and Geeks)

There’s quite a lot of things I’d like to do at McKinley High School - take P.E. with Biff Tannen, try not to smirk through a guidance session with Mr Rosso, listen to Nick talk about his 29-piece drum set and watch Kim Kelley’s latest smackdown while praying she doesn’t pick on me next. But, most of all, I want to hang out with Bill.

For iPhone/iPad click here.

Rushmore Academy (Rushmore)

Not only is there a chance you’ll run into Bill Murray (although you’ll also bump into his awful twins), I also want to take every one of those extra-curricular activities (especially calligraphy) and I really, really want to be in that play.

San Dimas High School (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Why San Dimas? Firstly, because everyone knows San Dimas High School football rules. Secondly, because my teenage self would (and did) have a massive crush on Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan. Thirdly, because hanging out at the K-mart might have meant I’d meet George Carlin. And lastly, because who wouldn’t want to sit through that history report?

Shermer High School (The Breakfast Club)

While Shermer High does feature twin horrors in the form of Saturday detentions and a headteacher that dresses like Barry Manilow, I could have spent my weeks slunking around and worshipping John Bender from afar.

For iPhone/iPad click here.

For those of you wondering where Neptune is, despite the attendance of Veronica Mars it was disqualified on the grounds of being mostly filled with giant asswipes. What else did I miss?

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